Reasons Why I Am Single....

So its becoming more and more evident that there is a good possibility I am going to die alone. This scares the shit out of me. The past two weeks I have been searching myself wondering why the f I am single still at 27. What is even more scarier my friend was doing my hair and found 2 grey hairs. I am not talkin' little baby hairs, I am talking full blown curly ass grey hairs. FML....for realz. Here is a list of reasons why I am probably single....

• I would rather talk to my besticle for 3 hours at night than have to talk to a new boyfriend getting to know one another over late night conversations.
  
• I am usually sleeping by 9pm because I took some form of sleep meds.
• I am still holding onto the fact that sometime down the line maybe my ex boyfriend (we broke up 5 years ago) from college will get back together with me, in all his 30 seconds of glory.
• I would rather sit in my basement bar doing shots with friends and then sliding down my basement stairs on our asses.
• I have more fun on a friday night getting wasted with my guy cousins while playing rock-band then having to get dressed up and go out on a date.
• I have been known to make a complete ass out of myself at karaoke...sad part is when I am rocking it, I am really sounding like goats doing the dirt nasty.
• I once broke up with a guy because he wore sneakers with khakis.
  
• When I get drunk I still text ex boyfriends that I want to have nothing to do with me to see if they will respond.
• During the summer I would rather go to my family's beach house and go fishing with my cousins and uncle than go to the hip, younger beaches and meet a man.
• Lastly, (I mean there are many many more reasons I just cant think of them right now because I hung out with MJ) I would rather throw an 80's themed birthday party then a civilized sit down dinner with close friends.

So my last bullet I mentioned I had an 80s themed party for my bday. It was out of control. All we were missing was beetlejuice from the Howard Stern show. I found the most hideous 80s prom dress I could find. I spend $65.00 on it from EBAY, and it was worth every penny. I cant really remember the night, however here are some pictures I thought you would all enjoy...

I do not even know what to say to this, other than Mr. Gold Lamay pants...that was his 3rd costume change....


This is the ex from college...I took this handsome thing to bed...where is my life going?


My cousin and I....FML




Sweet dirt stache....do you sit at the park and watch young children play?


Roommates doing the...running man?


How did the foundation to the house not fall down?



Anyone notice my lee-press on nail in mid air as it flied off my finger?



Conga line...for realz?



Nice shorts



Dirty Sanchez himself...




So by the end of the night everyone was ripping their clothes or cutting them with scissors. The next morning there were just shards of clothing in every inch of my house. So these little gems are just a taste of what went down. Are these pictures a glimpse into why the fuck I am still single and living with my two male cousins? Thoughts/Feelings?