Allow me to introduce ME....

Well let me first introduce myself and explain why I created this blog....

I am 26 years old on the verge of 27 and still live with my parents in New Jersey; and single to boot. Yes, I understand that its high time I stop spending my money on weekend benders and get a place of my own. Trust me I am fully aware of this; its in the works so LAY OFF ME! So as I was saying, yes I still live with my parents, my mother still cleans my room and goes through all my shit like I am 15 year old high school drop out with a meth addiction when I go away on the weekends. Both my parents are equally annoying in their own way. For example when I go to work (I leave before everyone) my mother feels it necessary to take all my clothes, shoes, magazines, pocketbooks (I know i am going to get shit for using that word) that are littering my floor and throw it all on my bed. I guess she wants me to clean my room? So as you can tell my mother suffers from some sort of psychotic disease, but alas, we cannot just condone my mother for all the extra announces. My father is equally annoying. For example he insists on asking the same questions 34873 times. He still insists on knowing my whereabouts at all times. I am 27 and hold a full time job, I'm pretty sure we are past the the idea of me turning tricks to buy pot. Anyway, Enough about them and back to ME...

I went to a little private college in Western Massachusetts where I managed to drink and smoke way to much. I made the best friends a girl could ever dream of and most likely shed 10 years off my life at the same time. The benders would last for days and our apartments were always shitholes. We were stoned 95% of the day and when the housing lottery came around one year, we were informed that we were "...the dumbest girls at the school" and would be the last to pick housing. I.E. shitty housing. I earned a degree in English literature and a minor in Elem. Education. What they failed to mention at my graduation was that this little degree that cost my parents $150,000 does not give you and street cred. So while I was busy taking classes such as "The Art of Hand Papermaking" my fellow classmates where taking classes that would actually help them in their future endevours. So as a graduating memeber of the class of 2004 I was faced with the question "What the fuck am I going to do when I graduate". I mean I always new I wanted to be a teacher, but I felt it was better to not go forward with all of the procedures to get a Massachusetts Teaching Certification because the testing and student teaching interfered with my pot smoking and partying schedule. A family friend recommended I apply for a Teaching Position at a school for teenagers with Autism. 5 minutes before the interview I realized I wasnt applying for a job at a school for "Artistic" students, but rather "Autistic" students. There is a big difference if you don't know. Google it if you don't believe me.

So this is where I am, 5 years later still teaching children with Autism. I now have 3 gray hairs and I have to take xananx. I drink way to much coffee which inturn makes me addicted to tylenol pm. I leave work and do not put the radio on, instead I usuall debate with myself whether to drive my car into a tree or just go to the gym. If teaching from 9-3 wasnt enough, I also tutor 4 days a week. Which by tuesday makes me salvate for vodka. So this is reasoning why I decided create this blog. I thought to myself, "why not share my mishaps at work, educate the world on what it really means to be a teacher." Somedays my posts will about whats going on in my life, how my recent bender worked out, my family and friends. Other times it will be about how I had to clean out dingle berries off my 12 yr old or how I spend 85% of my day in the boys bathroom. I do want to stress the fact that in now way am I ridiculing any of my student or autism. Autism is a serious problem effecting many American families. Rather this blog is to make light of the shit I deal with on a day to day basis, a way to laugh off the my day if you will. In this line of work you have to sometimes just laugh at your situation. If you don't, you will end up in a straight jacket at your local state psych ward.


And Just for shits and giggles:
Fun Facts About Me:
1. I had a dance of with Ruthie from real world
2. I can do the worm, which often happens at about 1:30 am on a dirty bar floor with my friends clearing the area and getting the whole bars attention by screaming "Everyone, Everyone move my friend can do the worm!"
3. I loathe people that use the words "hehe" in an email/IM/text
4.I didn't vote for Obama and I am proud of it.
5. I met Chad Michael Murray and he is the biggest douchebag in the world
6. I have more cousins then the Kennedy's
7. I had my car stolen in college. I drove around for 3 months with a vial of crack under the passenger seat. I guess the nice people who stole it wanted to leave me something for my troubles.
8. I can sing a mean version of Tina Turners "Proud Mary"
9. I always get drunk and sing my version of "Proud Mary" at every family function (weddings, communions, funerals, etc.)
10. I am a white girl, however I can rap to most of Biggie's songs.
11. I took a date to a wedding where him and I managed to spend $50 on open bar. As the wedding was winding down, the open bar lead to my date breaking his foot. He then lost his job and had to move to Arizona.
12. My college boyfriend had adult braces.
13. When I see my college friends we drink excessively and someone usually ends up hurt.
14. My dogs breath smells worse than her ass, she also suffers a humping problem.
15.I talk to my best friend, aka besticle over 1,000 minutes a month on the phone.