Even the Autistic know Chris Brown is DOUCHE

So I am sitting at my desk this afternoon trying to get goals and objectives done for the next year and I overhear a conversation between my student (if you get lost you will end up naked in jail) and my assistant. My student was explaining to my assistant that Chris Brown beat Rhianna. Those were his exact words, "he beat her". He proceeds to say you cant hit people because then you will go to prison. Wow, prison. That is some hardcore shit. How the hell does he know the difference between jail and prison? I recently just learned the difference when my cousin did a stint in jail for overdosing himself on the date-rape drug and beating up an EMT. Jail = less than a year and Prison = more than a year. My student actually made me feel dumb today. But hey at least he knows Chris Brown is a fucknugget. Even an autistic child knows that hitting is wrong, so why not Chris Brown?

On a lighter, non douchebag note...

We are officially moved in. We spent our first weekend at the new house. I have already been referred to as the "electricity Nazi" because I run around behind everyone making sure they are shutting their fucking lights, tvs and computers off when they leave a room. Listen, I am not doing the public service man, SO LAY OFF ME!

We had our first get together on Saturday. It went from, lets just have a few people over to we should just get a keg! So we got a keg and beer pong was a-going. I feel like I am back in college. My two cousins and I are the first ones (out of the cool cousins) that have moved out. So its like a goddamn free-for-all. My cousin already had to buy me a new phone because he roundhouse kicked my phone out of my hand into my cup of beer while doing a dance move in my Tina turner gold lamay pants. These pants have become the biggest hit since cable tv. I have to say, I bet that is the most expensive roundhouse kick my cousin will ever do. It cost him 465.00 because of course 4 months prior to this I dropped my blackberry in a toilet and had to upgrade, extend my contract and sell my first born to not pay out my ass for a new one. Note to self: When Dano is dancing, keep phone and beer out of harms way (holly I know you will be laughing at that little joke). We have also come to another realization. We are functioning alcoholics. We were up at 8:30 as if we didnt finish a keg, a bottle of private stock captain Morgans and a bottle of jack. We had the house cleaned and on our way to breakfast by 9:30. New phone in hand by 11. If that isnt functioning alcoholicness then I dont know what is. I have to admit, I really love living with my cousins. We play jokes on each other, have started a rock band on Wii and have already gotten fall down drunk at our new place. Like I said above, the gold lamay pants were broken out by TWO of my cousins and it was pretty shiteous.

So for your viewing pleasure....

Gold Lamay Running Man

Fancy Shoes